“We should just put him outside.”
“If you put him outside, he’s just going to come back in. Babe, just kill him! Please?”
The voices bellow above me, and I’m backed into a corner, helplessly waiting their verdict. I try to climb up the wall and I hear the shrill one yelp again.
“Calm down. It’s just a little spider. He’s probably trying to go back to his spider family.”
She thank you very much. She is trying to find something around this zealously clean space that’s fit to eat, and then she wants to go back to her web under the bookcase with all her limbs intact. She has no interest in mating right about now, thank you very much.
“It’s not little. It’s a huge hairy disgusting beat of a monster and I don’t want to share a bedroom with it!”
Hairy? Huge? You’re one to talk, woman.
“I’m just gonna take him outside and he can live in the bushes out front or something.”
“Oh, so now I can never go outside ever again?”
Who’s moving to the bushes? I don’t want to live outside…
“I hate to break it to you babe, but there are lots of bugs outside. Not just spiders. It’s where they belong, in the wild.”
Wild my abdomen. I like it under the bookcase. These people don’t even read! That’s bliss for a spider like me. To his side I see her roll up an USweekly. I don’t qualify that as reading.
“Kill it!”
The man unrolls the magazine and makes to scoop me up.
“Kiiiiiiill it!”
I don’t want to go live outside.
“I’m taking it outside!”
“You’re such a wimp!”
They watch movies. Maybe they’ve seen Charolett’s Webb…
“You knew when you met me that I have very strong feelings about this sort of thing.”
“And you knew when you met me that I have very strong feelings about spiders living in my house and crawling in my hair and sleeping in my bed—“
As she rants the magazine begins to roll back up in his grip.
“—You think that I’m going to stay here with that beast around, inside or out, you’ve got another—“
I just want to live! Outside might not be that bad!
1 comments:
creepy spiders. Sorry, no matter how much emotion you give them, I still think they are gross.
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